Hail To The Caregiver!

 I have been MIA for the last two weeks and want to share my Crash Course in Caregiving.  On July 14th, My sweetheart, Kirk Bertelsen, was riding his dirt bike at the Sand Dunes by Delta, Utah, when he had a fluke accident and broke his back.  He was life-flighted to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center where he quickly became their "Miracle", and mine.

   That is him, on the left, exiting the bike in the crash. Our son-in-law had his Go-Cam on his bike and was riding behind Kirk when he got this picture.  The crash was not anything to shout about, in fact, Kirk says he has hundreds of crashes that were much worse than this. (And this is supposed to bring a wife comfort?)
   Kirk suffered a "burst" fracture on his 12th thoracic vertebrae. If you think of a windshield getting hit by a rock and shattering, that is what happened to the vertebrae.  As it shattered, pieces of it pushed into his spinal column, occluding it by 50%.  This is why he could not feel anything from his belly button down for a while.  No feeling, no movement.
   Once at UVRMC, the extent of the injuries became clear and surgery was scheduled for the next morning.  Dr. Paul Gardner was our surgeon and miracle worker.  After a nine hour surgery he came to give us the wonderful news that everything went the best possible way it could.  The physical responses in Kirk's legs even improved during the surgery!

Kirk taking his first steps after surgery.

  Over the next few weeks we have spent more than our share of time in Neuro-Trauma ICU and a few days on the fourth floor before finally bringing him home last Monday. He is walking.  He relishes the fact that he can feel every little pain in his legs and feet.  He knows he has been given a miracle and he has embraced it fully.
   I was scared, but confident, about bringing him home and caring for him.  After all, I do facilitate 3 Caregiver Support Groups each month and I have taught the UCARE classes several times.  How hard could this be? I had every piece of equipment I have extolled the virtues of to caregivers, I had a supportive team of family and friends to help, I even had every Orem City Firefighter, Paramedic and Police Officer at my side for ANYTHING that I may need (thank goodness for the brotherhood) Really, what could go wrong?
   Let's just say that humble pie is delicious.  Let's also say, "Dear Caregivers coming to my classes, I love you, and understand MUCH more of what you are going through on a daily basis." As Kirk and I have talked about the "why's" of this situation, we have discussed how much more I have learned and can share with caregivers.  We are certain this is not the only lesson we will take away from this, but I know how important it will be for those in the trenches of caregiving.  It is one of the most difficult, stressful, back-breaking, beautiful, wonderful things.  Hail to the Caregivers!!

*If you would like to know more on Kirk's story you can go to 

Bert's Big Ride

Diary of a Diabetic's Wife: What Happens If I Die Before He Does?

 Don't miss an entry from Chris Lee Pyne!  Check the blog weekly and click on her tab, Diary of a Diabetic's Wife for her entire story.  Please visit her support group at Diabetes Support Group for Spouses for ongoing dialogue and support.

Roger and Chris Pyne

I'd like to blog about feelings that I have on a regular basis. Thoughts that go through my mind such as: What happens if I die before him? Who will take care of him? Who will love him and be there for him when he's suffering from the some of the inevitable diabetes complications? If he dies before me how will I handle life when he's gone? Who will be there to help and support me?

I hate thinking those thoughts! I want to deny them and pretend they aren't going to happen. I'm frightened by it. I always wonder what the future holds for us and pray that we'll both be able to handle the cards that have been dealt us.

I know Roger has similar thoughts because he's expressed them to me before. It must be hard feeling like you're a burden to someone and that there isn't anything you can do about it. One thing that we've done as a couple is to get some things in order so that when we pass away it won't be quite as hard. We bought our burial plots, we have a pre-paid funeral plan. We feel so much more comfortable knowing that this has been done. I'm not sure what else we can do to prepare us for the future but when we figure them out we'll do it just so that we don't have to be a burden to anyone.

I love this quote:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

I know Roger is being blessed even though there are days in which he feels he isn't. I know he realizes that things could be worse too. But together we'll take what God has given us and be grateful for each day.