I am a worrier. I freely own that. Nothing I do seems to change it. I fully realize that worrying about something does not fix or change the problem, but that does not stop me from worrying about it.
What do I worry about? Obviously, the same things you do!! I worry about job stability in our economy, the price of gas that seems to float higher and higher and the ongoing government problems in Washington.
I worry about my Aunt in Texas who is now living alone with four beagles and 40 pigeons in a large home (dogs and pigeons outside:))without any family close by to help. 
I worry about my two daughters and one son-in-law, even though they don't live at home any longer. As a parent, you really never stop worrying.
I worry about my hubby who has been a police officer for almost 24 years and what could possibly happen to him while at work.
I worry about bad hair days, am I wearing the right accessories with my outfit, did I get something out of the freezer for dinner and did I remember to put my dog Buddy outside when I left for work. (Bad things have happened when I have forgotten this.)
Did I mention I am a worrier?
So....why do we worry? I was reading an article about worrying and thought it had some really good points in it that I want to share with you.
Dr. William Sanderson PhD and Director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of Long Island stated this:
What is Worry?
"Worry is something that nearly everyone is familiar with. Worry can best be defined as a chain of negative thoughts that have to do with fears about the future. Typically, when you worry there is a concern that something you desire might not happen -- for example, you may get turned down for a raise -- or that something terrible might occur -- for example, you might lose your job. A typical worry pattern might be something like: "That important job at work, what if I can't meet the deadline? I might not get the promotion I want. I might get fired! How can we afford to live if I get fired? How will I make the payments on the car? That car already needs transmission work. I've got to call the mechanic about that. What if there are other things wrong with the car? I will have to spend more money when I should be saving for my children's education......"
Why do people worry?
"Worry can be useful. Worrying can be a method to resolve problems and anticipate and prepare for future events. For example, worrying about a test will cause you to study, because by studying, you will reduce the negative feeling accompanying the worry. However, rather than solving problems, chronic worriers often simply generate more and more worries."
How do you know when worry gets out of hand?
"Excessive worry can become a significant problem. Since worry is often accomplished by a mixture of negative emotions, for example tension, fear, apprehension; and physical sensations such as muscle tension, heart palpitations, upset stomach -- worrying can have a substantial impact on how you feel both emotionally and physically. Excessive worry can lead to impaired functioning -- for example, excessive worry can distract someone from their work, or decrease enjoyment of good things that are happening. Approximately 15% of the population spend eight hours a day worrying. Among people presenting for psychological treatment, many of them report feeling worried nearly all of the time."
What can be done to decrease worry?
"Distracting yourself from your worries will not solve what causes the worries. To overcome worry you must confront it. I recommend strategies that we use in cognitive therapy . In my opinion the best way to deal with your worries is to focus on them and learn to analyze the accuracy of your thinking. Often, the thoughts associated with worry are unrealistic or extreme. You end up worrying about things unnecessarily. If you can train yourself to be more realistic you may find that many of your worries are not as bad as your originally thought. Here are three simple steps from a cognitive therapy technique called Logical Analysis that one can take to reduce their worry:
1) Since we are often unaware of what we are thinking, the first step is to write down the thoughts that go through your mind when you are worrying. Be as specific as possible. For example: If I miss the deadline at work I will lose my job.
2) The next step is to examine how realistic your thought is. Be like a trial lawyer examining your thoughts, looking for ways to find distorted, inaccurate thoughts. Do you have evidence to support or refute your thought? Is your thinking based on logic? Are you paying attention to all the details of a situation or just the negative ones? For example: Have you missed deadlines before? Have others? What happens?
3)Now come up with a new thought -- a rational response -- that is more realistic than the original thought. For example: missing the deadline at work is not something I want to happen, but it is very unlikely that I will lose my job because of this one event, even if your boss is angry.
Another strategy that can be effective is Decatastrophizing. Worriers are catastrophizers. They can turn almost any situation into a potential catastrophe -- one minor worry can snowball into several other major worries. For example, a worrier will think that she will be alone forever if her boyfriend ended their relationship. Instead of repeatedly worrying "What if ...," by Decatastrophizing
Finally, some people find the following process useful to reduce worry, something that we call Stimulus Control. This technique comes from the learning-theory branch of psychology. We know that when people do something in one situation, they are likely to do it again the next time they are in that situation. Because one can worry nearly any time and any place, it becomes associated with many situations. So to reduce its frequency, a person attempts to limit where and when worry occurs. For example,
1) Set a 30 minute worry period, to take place the same time and in the same place each day.
2) Learn to identify when you start worrying. Postpone your worrying, as soon as you do catch yourself, until your worry period. If you are worried you will forget write it down and make a list for your worry period.
3) To stop worrying during non worry times, replace worrisome thoughts by distracting yourself with something else, like listening to music. The goal is to focus on something else.
4) When your worry time comes, close your eyes and force yourself to think in detail about all the things you worry about. Try to fill up the entire 30 minutes. The goal is that you don't worry all the time -- just in one spot at one time. This can reduce your worries a lot."
Well...I hope this has helped you....I know you are a worrier too;) Feel free to leave your comments on the things you worry about and, as always....if there is anything I can do to help you or a loved one, let me know.
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