Diary of A Diabetic's Wife: Caregiving

   Over the years of seeing Roger live with diabetes has brought about many feelings from my point of view. One is being the caregiver.
   Years ago I didn't think as much about it but now that we're older and I'm seeing the difference in his health I worry about what the future holds. Is he going to live to a ripe old age without all the complications of diabetes? Is he going to drop dead from a low blood sugar reaction and me not being there to help him? Is he going to go blind? Is he going to have to be on dialysis? Am I going to be a widow at a young age? Are we going to be able to do the things we always dreamed of doing in our retirement?
   When we were young and still having children I had always wanted 4 but the thought continually came to my mind that I didn't want to be left a widow with 4 children if something happened to Roger. So we decided 3 kids was a good number. These types of thoughts plus many more are what goes through the mind of a spouse with diabetes. Are they normal? I'd say yes. I've talked with other spouses who have told me the same things. The worry never ends.
    I guess we just take one day at a time. Nobody knows what God has in store for us. All we can do is have faith that all will be well.
   How do I deal with these feelings?  These thoughts? Well, first of all pray. I pray for patience, understanding, love. I want to be sympathetic to all his ailments.
   Over the years, I learned how to draw up his insulin when he used to have shots. I've learned what I need to do in an emergency with low blood sugars, I've learned the signs of his low blood sugars such as confusion, personality change, his nausea, etc. The only thing I haven't taken the time to learn is his insulin pump. I know it's something I need to learn how to use since I'm his caregiver.

   Needless to say, I am glad I've been blessed with a husband who sincerely cares about his health and does everything he can to try to be healthy. I know he worries what the future holds for him but he's doing everything in his power to prolong the inevitable.