Diary of A Diabetic's Wife: Caregiving

   Over the years of seeing Roger live with diabetes has brought about many feelings from my point of view. One is being the caregiver.
   Years ago I didn't think as much about it but now that we're older and I'm seeing the difference in his health I worry about what the future holds. Is he going to live to a ripe old age without all the complications of diabetes? Is he going to drop dead from a low blood sugar reaction and me not being there to help him? Is he going to go blind? Is he going to have to be on dialysis? Am I going to be a widow at a young age? Are we going to be able to do the things we always dreamed of doing in our retirement?
   When we were young and still having children I had always wanted 4 but the thought continually came to my mind that I didn't want to be left a widow with 4 children if something happened to Roger. So we decided 3 kids was a good number. These types of thoughts plus many more are what goes through the mind of a spouse with diabetes. Are they normal? I'd say yes. I've talked with other spouses who have told me the same things. The worry never ends.
    I guess we just take one day at a time. Nobody knows what God has in store for us. All we can do is have faith that all will be well.
   How do I deal with these feelings?  These thoughts? Well, first of all pray. I pray for patience, understanding, love. I want to be sympathetic to all his ailments.
   Over the years, I learned how to draw up his insulin when he used to have shots. I've learned what I need to do in an emergency with low blood sugars, I've learned the signs of his low blood sugars such as confusion, personality change, his nausea, etc. The only thing I haven't taken the time to learn is his insulin pump. I know it's something I need to learn how to use since I'm his caregiver.

   Needless to say, I am glad I've been blessed with a husband who sincerely cares about his health and does everything he can to try to be healthy. I know he worries what the future holds for him but he's doing everything in his power to prolong the inevitable.

Diary of A Diabetic's Wife by Chris Pyne

This is the first entry into our new bi-weekly feature by Chris Pyne.  Please visit her support group at Diabetes Support Group for Spouses for ongoing dialogue and support.

Roger and I were married 34 years ago. I met my sweetheart when I was 15 years old and I was married to him at the age of 18. I remember when I met him, someone had told me he was a diabetic and so I asked him if he was and he said "no, that's my brother."  Basically, he was in denial. He was diagnosed at the age of 9 with the disease.  All I knew about diabetes at that point was that he had one shot a day.

Chris and Roger Pyne.  Photo courtesy of Shana Gardner, StarLit Photography.

Shortly after we were married I had a very rude awakening to the life of being a spouse of a diabetic. He had come home from work one day and told me how hungry he was. Well, not knowing the significance of his disease, I told him that I would get him something to eat in a little bit. In the meantime he was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat but was having an insulin reaction where his blood sugar bottomed out. Next thing I knew he was on the floor having a seizure. Thus, began my life now with my diabetic husband.

After that experience my life changed. The sleepless nights of awakening every time Roger would wake up to check his blood sugars, worrying every time we went someplace when we hadn't come prepared for an emergency, the continual doctor appointments such as his family doctor, kidney doctor, diabetic doctor, cardiologist etc., worrying that my children would become diabetic, when he would become ill with the flu. It never ended. Diabetes ran our lives.

During our 34 years of marriage I've had to call the paramedics multiple times. He's been hospitalized many times for diabetes related problems. I remember one incident where he had accidentally given himself the wrong insulin. He was in a panic and I went into panic mode with him. I had to help him counteract his insulin mistake by making him eat and eat lots of carbohydrates. He would get so sick of all the food that he would almost vomit it up.  Thus, another trip to the emergency room.  

Many times, I've been awakened out of a dead sleep with a feeling that something was wrong. Roger wouldn't be beside me in bed so I would go find him and he'd be having an insulin reaction where if I hadn't of gotten up he would have had a seizure.  My adrenaline would go from this dead sleep to a rush of panic within seconds. I would get physically sick after the incident was all over. Each time this happened I was so grateful that I had been inspired to wake up and be able to help him.

About 5 years ago Roger got on an insulin pump which has helped him a lot. I've been so proud of him for the way he has done his best to be healthy. His doctors have called him their model patient because he cares so much about trying to keep his diabetes in control.  In spite of taking care of his self,   the disease takes control and begins to wreak havoc on the body. I've been his support through many, many surgeries. Being the worst was watching him go through open heart surgery at the age of 53. Then 6 months later,  back surgery.

Many times I've wished for someone who I could talk to that could relate to what it's like being the spouse.  Someone to share experiences with . I wouldn't trade any of it though because I love my sweetheart and I'm so grateful I can be here to help him. He is my rock and my hero.

Myths of Diabetes

I have been learning about Diabetes recently and thought this information needs to be shared!  The following is from www.Diabetes.org.  They have an enormous amount of resources for you about the disease, how to manage it and even how to see if you are on the road to having it! 

 Myth: Diabetes is not that serious of a disease.

Fact: Diabetes causes more deaths a year than breast cancer and AIDS combined.  Two out of three people with diabetes die from heart disease or stroke.

Myth: If you are overweight or obese, you will eventually develop type 2 diabetes.

Fact:  Being overweight is a risk factor for developing this disease, but other risk factors such as family history, ethnicity and age also play a role. Unfortunately, too many people disregard the other risk factors for diabetes and think that weight is the only risk factor for type 2 diabetes.  Most overweight people never develop type 2 diabetes, and many people with type 2 diabetes are at a normal weight or only moderately overweight. 

Myth: Eating too much sugar causes diabetes. 

Fact: No, it does not.  Type 1 diabetes is caused by genetics and unknown factors that trigger the onset of the disease; type 2 diabetes is caused by genetics and lifestyle factors.  Being overweight does increase your risk for developing type 2 diabetes, and a diet high in calories, whether from sugar or from fat, can contribute to weight gain.  If you have a history of diabetes in your family, eating a healthy meal plan and regular exercise are recommended to manage your weight.

Myth: People with diabetes should eat special diabetic foods.

Fact: A healthy meal plan for people with diabetes is generally the same as a healthy diet for anyone – low in fat (especially saturated and trans fat), moderate in salt and sugar, with meals based on whole grain foods, vegetables and fruit.  Diabetic and “dietetic” foods generally offer no special benefit. Most of them still raise blood glucose levels, are usually more expensive, and can also have a laxative effect if they contain sugar alcohols.

Myth: If you have diabetes, you should only eat small amounts of starchy foods, such as bread, potatoes and pasta. 

Fact: Starchy foods are part of a healthy meal plan.  What is important is the portion size.  Whole grain breads, cereals, pasta, rice and starchy vegetables like potatoes, yams, peas and corn can be included in your meals and snacks.  The key is portions.  For most people with diabetes, having 3-4 servings of carbohydrate-containing foods is about right.  Whole grain starchy foods are also a good source of fiber, which helps keep your gut healthy.

 

Myth: People with diabetes can't eat sweets or chocolate.

Fact: If eaten as part of a healthy meal plan, or combined with exercise, sweets and desserts can be eaten by people with diabetes.  They are no more “off limits” to people with diabetes than they are to people without diabetes. 

 

Myth: You can catch diabetes from someone else.

Fact: No.  Although we don’t know exactly why some people develop diabetes, we know diabetes is not contagious.  It can’t be caught like a cold or flu.  There seems to be some genetic link in diabetes, particularly type 2 diabetes.  Lifestyle factors also play a part.

Myth:  People with diabetes are more likely to get colds and other illnesses. 

Fact: You are no more likely to get a cold or another illness if you have diabetes.  However, people with diabetes are advised to get flu shots. This is because any illness can make diabetes more difficult to control, and people with diabetes who do get the flu are more likely than others to go on to develop serious complications.

Myth: If you have type 2 diabetes and your doctor says you need to start using insulin, it means you’re failing to take care of your diabetes properly.

Fact: For most people, type 2 diabetes is a progressive disease. When first diagnosed, many people with type 2 diabetes can keep their blood glucose at a healthy level with oral medications.  But over time, the body gradually produces less and less of its own insulin, and eventually oral medications may not be enough to keep blood glucose levels normal.  Using insulin to get blood glucose levels to a healthy level is a good thing, not a bad one. 

Myth:  Fruit is a healthy food.  Therefore, it is ok to eat as much of it as you wish. 

Fact: Fruit is a healthy food.  It contains fiber and lots of vitamins and minerals.  Because fruits contain carbohydrates, they need to be included in your meal plan.  Talk to your dietitian about the amount, frequency and types of fruits you should eat.